Not to say that I am against birds. I love birds, just not their presents. The elimination of ‘Bird Bombs’ from on high, is of course the purpose for this proposal. Showered with rain, sun and the heavenly poop from above. Spring! Oh, the Glory of it. What a wonder!
Nay I say! For to be shat upon, is an atrocity to man/woman kind. I for one, will not stand for it—not at least while I am lying prone under my car, trying not to get blasted. However, I do have to admit, these wondrous poop packages are a wonder indeed. Known to come in many shapes, sizes, and colors, and can even vary in consistency as well. Why, just today, I spotted the resulting mayhem on multiple vehicles, bathed in bird specimen of all sorts. Later, as I pulled out of a parking lot, I witnessed a woman in her car, hidden behind a widow of pooh as she struggled to peer out around it. I have to admit, the amount was very impressive. Had I been that bird, I’d a been extremely proud!
None-the-less, in light of my proposal, I suggest the human race come together to tamper the bird kingdom.
‘Wow! How cruel!’ my girlfriend retorts. Ya, spose she’s right. Guess I could put my efforts into better suited endeavors.
Then again, it’s not an entirely lost proposal, as this isn’t needed for ALL birds. Cause not all shit on my car.
